Break the Cycle

“I have tried to drink this pain away,
to smoke it away,
to write it away.
I tried to make it numb,
I tried to run away from it,
I tried to fight it.
But everything I tried to escape
found me in my sleep
again.” - Mandy K.

I am finally starting to break the cycle. I usually wake up before my closing shifts, keep pressing snooze until about 2:30pm, and then I finally drag myself to the bathroom and begin to shower and get ready for work. NOT. TODAY. I have a morning motivation playlist playing on Spotify, I grabbed the tea I made fridge (cold brew coconut chai iced green tea), and made breakfast. I'm at my dining table, which is clean because I took the time to clean it yesterday, and then I'm going to stretch for the day, and then get ready for work. I need to take the trash out...which is going to be...incredibly heavy...but I BELIEVE.

I started decorating for the holidays inside of my home! I went to the dollar store to see if they had any cute decor for the OUTSIDE of my home...but everything is either too small or too flimsy. :( Looks like I'll have to invest more if I want to decorate the outside of my house, LOL. My HOA emailed me a list of the paint colors I can choose from when it comes to painting the outside of my home; I need to go get the little swatches and see which ones I like best! I want to pick a day when me and Beck are just chillin' at home.

I have this little flip book that revolves around the "Law of Attraction" and has little daily teachings; it challenged me today to write down 100 things I am grateful for today. 100. 100! I'm going to go make my list and make it very decorative. With Lisa Frank stickers.

Honestly, though, if you aren't treating yourself with extreme kindness and compassion at every moment of every day, you're doing yourself a big disservice. Me included. I need to start committing to breaking the cycle and doing this EVERY day. Every day I wake up, I have to treat that day like it's my last. I have to operate with love in everything I do. I don't do that currently, but the verbiage I'm using, "have to," is true if I ever want to successfully beat my depression into such a pulp that it never finds enough life to grow again.

Click to Go to Spotify

I am currently listening to this playlist curated by Spotify (if you click the button above, it should take you to it!) and it's putting me in the most wonderful mind-state.

I'm off to go write my list of 100 things I'm grateful for! You should do the same ;)

<3

​Janet